So Batman's suit is dark as is Catwoman's, Penguin's, even the Joker's and his little morbid jokes. Every thing about the batman comics were dark. But then we get brighter with time. Yuk fuck that shit.
Batman now faces two new enemies in Gotham that we all love to hate, hate to love, the Penguin - a warped and obese individual who is intent on being accepted into Gotham society, so he says. Hell-bent businessman Max Schreck is focused into helping him become Mayor of Gotham and they both attempt to expose Batman in a different light. And also Selina Kyle (aww yeah kitty), Max's secretary, who is transformed into Catwoman, a mysterious sexy figure who has the same personality disorder as Batman (or somewhat worse than the latter), after Max throws her from the top of his building. Batman must now attempt to clear his name, all at the same time deciding just what must be done with Catwoman and Penguin. I love the electricity between Bats and Cats, the chemistry is what I wished I had in my own love life.
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| A Love story begins |
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| My idol then and now, I'm so gay. |
Batman returns, is the classic of my two weeks being away. And no body around can tell me that there has been a better adaptation of the batman comics since. I mean, come on the Penguin looked great and his dark circled face making those dark jokes faced with Catwoman, in her stitched-up with yarn patent black (dark) cat suit was fantastic. Batman was a huge part of the film of course, but I mention him last as all the Batman's seem to be all the same so far in comparison, all stuck up their own arses, just like how Bruce Wayne has been portrayed in not only the comics but the many adaptations of children's and graphic adult cartoons (none with hardcore Bats fucking the milk out of Cats with a ball of yarn and Batarang imposing sex toys yet!) gets better, a bit on the too serious focus of an action film for a Batman film but not as any where as bad as the two Batman films in the middle that make a mockery out of the franchise.
Deep breaths... huff huff.
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| Imagine waking up to this fucker! |
Batman returns, from what I can remember, captured me when I was too young to be watching a film of the certificate. I think is was either a 12 or 15 certificate. Me and my sister were sent to blockbuster Video at the end of the road from where we lived by my loving and spoiling Mom and we got to watch it for the first of many (for me) times.
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| I love a man in costume |
Tim Burton, as we know him from Edward scissor hands, The nightmare before Christmas has done a brilliant job at directing this film. I may be standing proud and biased right now, but can you (if ever seen any of the Batman films after seeing Tim Burton films), can you honestly say this has not been the best Batman since and ever.
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| The better promotional poster |
Forget the massive high budget explosive fight scenes from the two updated rebooted versions of Batman (The Dark Knight), forget the cheesy jokes made by Riddler and the not so torched face from Tommy Lee Jones, erm I mean TwoFace.. These Batman’s have nothing on the original dark holding stations of Gotham City like Batman Returns does. I’m not even to sure Batman, the first one out, with Jack Nicolson (Directed by Burton), even got to be as dark as it could have been. After Returns, there was Batman Forever, Batman and Robin and then that one with the awesome looking TwoFace (Yes graphics do look good I’m not knocking them) and then the one with that dude that died a while ago, Heath ledger.. Oh boo, he died and so woman filled the cinemas, which they would have never of done if he didn’t pass on (I smell lazy box office stunt).
So yes, in order we have the two first Batman’s, Batman, Batman Returns (the best), Batman Forever, Batman and Robin, Batman begins (reboot) and lastly Batman: The Dark Knight. The Two last films are a good watch visually, the acting a bit on the too seriuos side, but good watching for a reboot of the Batman franchise.
Rent the all and watch in order to get the full Batman in film experience if you haven't already. You won't be disappointed. I wonder where Batman will be going from here. But remeber you MUST rent or own Batman Returns to be a true fan.
It starts of with two brothers, George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino, set out on some bust at a gas station. Now Tarantino's character is fucking deluded and deranged and I'm sure the film also was meant to imply he had some sort of mental personality disorder which you see straight of in the film. Clooney the level head one of the brothers, is a sexy as he wants to be (My first real crush on a white guy to be honest), he's a bad boy that every dudette or dude would happily let him into their panties. 
So the brothers are on a mission to get to mexico, but because they're wanted by the police and the death toll is rising because of unstable Tarantino, they have to find their way safely across the border. Entrance for Juliette Lewis (Natural Born Killers), her ex-preacher Father and her half Chinese younger brother. The family are staying riding around in a motorhome and they have stopped at a motel, the same motel that the criminal brothers have checked into. Clooney engages with them whilst Tarantino murders yet another poor and innocent woman (I'm not really sure if she did ask for it but hey with out the death there'd be no story). 
